September 12, 2003
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Phallic Enticement
Ha, yeah, that title got your attention, didn’t it? Well, this post is not about what you are thinking, all you dirty-birdies out there! Or you may just have a limited vocabulary, especially concerning Ph spelling words. But I digress.
What I am talking about, as my trusty boyfriend would say, is ye olde one-eyed purple-headed-yogurt-slinger. Ewwww! quoth my six-year-old self. And now i have not only totally offended varius members of my family, but also miscellaneous peeps I have never met before in my life. My point is, I keep getting these penis enhancement spammy things in my email, and I think the whole thing is very silly.
1. I am a girl, and I do not, nor ever have had, a wee-wee.
2. Who is Herrera Hreczany? Where is she from? What does she eat for breakfast? Would she be my pen pal if i hunted her down and wrote her a love letter?
3. Hooray for those catchy pseudonyms in the subject line, all misspelled, with various garbled letters just plunked in wherever.
Because i like to collect fun stuff, I am starting the Penis Enhancement Spam Hall of Fame in the column to your immediate left.
(I saw that! Some of you just looked over at your shoulder and were pretty bewildered to see no throbbing johnsons in your immediate periphery! You are the same people who spell “F-o-n-e” in your brain when you’re about to call someone!)
Nevermind that. Here goes.
