July 21, 2003

• This is why I haven’t called you.

  
  

  Alrighty, I know everyone’s into this cheeso quiz thing, but here is proof positive what a non-social procrastinating freakshow i really am. Now we all understand. Ta-da!

  
  

  Disorder  Rating:
  Avoidant: Very High
  Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

  
  

  (ouch!)

  
  

  And then….

  
  

  Right after i posted this i went out to the kitchen to make a sandwich, and there was a knock at my door. Now usually the only people who show up on my doorstep unannounced are one of the two John’s, and one of them is in Japan. Or could it be Bryon? Or someone else entirely? So with much hope and trepidation i opened the door.

  
  

  Apparently the cute neighbor boy from upstairs wants me to go up and have a “drink” with him and his friend. I said I’d come up in a few. Hmmm. Golden opportunity to not only make nice with the crew above, but maybe make a new pal, and prove i can overcome my recent hermitage. So kids, should i go?

  
  

  Oh god, what about the whole awkward conversation thing? I suck at social niceties. And then there’s the flirt or not to flirt dealy-o, mixed signals and all that. I think he wanted to come say hi to me in the park the other day, what if my neighbor has hotpants for me?? And social invite reciprocation! The house is in shambles! I can’t invite them down here for milk and cookies “sometime later”!!  and Bry is suposed to call me when he gets back, but dammit, i was just kicking myself ten minutes ago for languishing around waiting for the phone to ring. That’s so lame. Errrrggh. See? I’m doing it! I’m doing the avoidant thing as we speak!

  
  

  Ok, f**k it, i’m going upstairs. Wish me luck.

  • 9:02 pm
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