September 1, 2006

• The Nuncycle has been stolen!!

  Let me tell you the story about my bicycle.

  She’s a lovely sky blue huffy cruiser, with wide chrome handlebars,
  white wall tires, a sweeping retro-style frame, and a black basket on
  front for toting groceries. We met on Highland ave in Somerville about
  a year ago, at the “Fun Fair” to raise money for The Little Sisters Of
  the Poor. That’s right, I bought her off a pack of nuns. I fell in love
  at first sight of her, up on a platform in the chapel room which
  doubled as a flea market for the day(she was leaning coyly on her
  kickstand, the altar lights glinting off her pretty silver fenders)so I
  happily handed over my money, and the Sisters waved us off as we rode
  away together into the sunset.

  Oh, what good times we’ve had. Together we get lots of compliments,
  admiring gazes, and comments on our mutual elegance. If Audrey Hepburn
  had a bicycle, which I’m sure she did, she’d have one like mine. We’d
  sweep up and down the hills of Somerville with graceful ease, bomb
  along the bike lane on Mass Ave, and glide in and out of traffic in
  parking lots. Sure, she was developing a little rust around the spokes,
  I had to strap on her basket with some ghetto-ass cable ties, and her
  back fender was a little loose and rattly (o, accursed potholes!)but i
  loved her, and i like to think she loved me too.

  But someone has taken her from me! And took her away on my 27th
  birthday!! I parked her neatly in porter square on the 29th, in the
  usual spot, locked her up for the day while i went to meet a friend,
  and on my return she was gone. I’m devastated.

  My only hope is that the karma which brought her to me will provide
  retribution to the thieving jackass who snatched her. If you see some
  scumbag bike thief on my blue beauty, being chased down the street by a
  pack of angry, screeching nuns, you’ll know that’s my bike. I’d like to
  have it back, please.
  

  • 4:55 pm
  • 7 Comments