August 11, 2006

  • *Groaaan*

    "At New York's
    Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
    be a public school
    teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
    in possession of a ruler,
    a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and
    a calculator.
      At a
    morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said
    he believes
    the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He
    is being charged
    by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
      'Al-gebra is a
    fearsome cult,' Gonzales said. They desire average
    solutions by means and
    extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
    search of absolute value.
    They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y'
    and refer to themselves as
    unknowns, but we have determined they belong
    to a common denominator of the
    axis of medieval with coordinates in
    every country. As the Greek philanderer
    Isosceles used to say, 'There
    are 3 sides to every
    triangle.'"

    Blame my silly uncle for this one. Now I remember why I hated math class.