Month: April 2004


  • Brand New Thang


    I heard somewhere that every girl goes through a "photography phase". You know, like wearing all black and going around taking pictures of trees and cracks in the sidewalk, or someone's naked butt. In art school, you see all these polyester mutants hanging out outside the photo studios, smoking cigs and angsting about darkroom intrigues. Like horrible beasts which sprang forth from the loins of Ansel Adams and concieved by Georgia O'keefe, they make gratuitous crotch-art and drone on about flammable liquids and greyscales.  It's terrible. What crap.


    I, on the other hand, am merely lazy. 


    I know some absolutely brilliant photographers, and I bow before their superior and insurmountably gorgeous talent. However, developer fluid and enlargers are not my bag.  Being a trained designer and drafts-guru (Mad Maven of Watercolor, Shiva of the Sharpie, The Goddess of Graphite Mastery, Baroness of Bristol-board), I am naturally keen on sketching and painstakingly rendering the things I see, but that doesn't work so well when you're, say, wandering aimlessly around the city looking for wierd stuff. Said wierdstuff having been spotted, one naturally would like to recall it later, but one does not have a pen handy. And drawing is a pain in the ass. So for instant gratification, it's good to have a camera. To take pictures of wierdstuff.


    So i bought a wierdstuff collector. A Nikon Coolpix 5400, to be exact. It's coming this week!



    So begins this here chickie's supposed photo phase. I promise not to take pictures of any cracks....of any kind.



  • One year, oh yeah!
    Anybody got some cool fridge magnets?

  • ....in the meanwhile.....


    ....until I can refinagle this blog design, for a limited time only!! here is something very silly to listen to. Thanks to my pal Eric, I am pleased to present "Giraffe Party 2000". Enjoy!



    credit


    "Giraffes go like this:
    ' %?!&?!?!?!$?!?!?%!!!!!! '
    on rollerskates!"




    Oh, yeah.


    Happy XANGAVERSARY to MEEEEE!

  • Under construction, for the Xanga-versary Grand Re-opening!

  • The Muffin Joke



    This is what I meant! This, a melodramatically posed baked-good.
    You people have dirty minds.


    In a warm oven, there are two muffins. One muffin says to the other muffin,


    "Wow, is it me, or is it kinda hot in here?"


    And the other muffin says:


    "HOLY CRAP! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"


    hehehe, bad. Thanks, Nick.

  • Victory?


    "Dear MBTA Customer:

    Thank you for your email.  We appreciate hearing from you and we
    sincerely apologize for the operator's unresponsiveness.
    We share your concern about this incident and have asked for an
    investigation into the doors.

    In addition, we have forwarded a copy of your email to Ms. Beulah
    Jones, Superintendent of Transportation for the Southampton Bus Garage,
    for investigation and action regarding the operator.

    Thank you for bringing this to our attention.

    MBTA Feedback"


    I think I got somebody in trouble at the T ..... I'm picturing this Beulah character, huffing and looking angry down at the depot. My x-rays came back okay, but my ankle still feels wierd. This has not, however, prevented me from climbing trees, or strolling around town on these glorious days. I haven't posted in a week (have you noticed??), nor rode the bus quite as often, or gone to work (it's school vacay) nor stayed indoors for long. Such is life.

  • Happy Birthday, TJ!



    Original image credit

  • Happy evil bunny day!


    I made y'all an easter basket extravaganza! Without the crappy fake plastic grass, of course.



    1. First, a dorky picture of Audrey, who is going for the bunny-look today.


    2. Go ahead, tease the chicken!
    3. A CGI fractal egg, by Morgen Bell:
       

    4. A really awful indie rock version of "Little Bunny Foo-Foo", by the Moldy Peaches.
    5. Another fabulous egg, by Peter Carl Faberge, jeweler to the Russian Czars:
      Imperial Czarevich Easter Egg

    6. A fun little springtime game: feed the froggies!
    7. Awesome artist! Crazy bunny! Aaaugh!

    8. Free jellybeans! However, these are not the kind you can use on Pisangue Island.
    9. Naughty carrots! They're in love.


    10. Of course, a happy bunny quiz:







      "which happy bunny are you?" - Results:
      congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything. You must be so proud.

    11. Psychic chickens reveal your destiny!
    12. For those of you who are the more daring sort of chocolate lover, a chocolate truffle recipe from Lindt Chocolate Company. Mmmmm.....
    13. Don't mess with this bunny:


    14. The Velveteen Rabbit is a good story. Read it!
    15. Not as cute as Audrey, but almost as stylin'.

    Hooray, spring hath sprung!


     

  • The MBTA has just been added to my list of absolute bastards, along with Comcast.


     i am posting from the center of agony, by the way. I mean, really, how often do you get to read about someone's pain when they're in the middle of experiencing it? Typing makes it hurt less. No, I did not get hit by a bus, but my ankle sure looks like it got run over by something with ten wheels.. It's not quite turning horrid colors yet, and that is what worries me.


    Not thirty minutes ago, I jauntily boarded the #39 on my way home from work. It was a bit crowded, so I stepped up through the rear door and hung on as the doors closed and I was pressed into everyone around me. As the bus pulled up to the next stop, though, I was pushed forward and i moved my right foot up to brace myself, right into the well for the inward swinging- doors. Ever had your foot slowly crushed by a hydraulic door? At first I looked down and said, "Oh, " as i tried to wriggle my shoe out.


    No good. The door opened some more, pressing on my ankle bone. Ow.


    "Stop opening the door!" I yowled. "My foot is caught!"


    I yelled a little more, because it was really starting to hurt, but the door kept moving.  Some other people tried to push the door back for me so i could get free, and others yelled for him to shut it, but it kept crushing my foot more and more. I felt something go "pop." I started struggling furiously and shrieking, because I was in terrible pain and starting to panic that my ankle would break. Everyone was yelling for him to stop, but the door simply wouldn't close again. I don't know if the driver couldn't hear me or thought nothing of my screams, but apparently females howling like banshees are no cause for alarm. So, I screamed again, louder than I ever have in my life, because i needed to.


    And then the door released me, and slammed shut. I nearly fell over.


    Granted, in that split second I felt pretty stupid for putting my foot there in the first place, but on closer inspection I noticed there really wasn't any yellow caution markings in that area, or any warnings about it being a pinch point. And the door is, apparently, entirely automatic (unlike the old bus doors, which will stop at human resistance), so that if there is an emergency the closing/ opening swing can't be manually aborted. This could happen to anyone standing near the door. Which seems like a bad thing to me.


    People were asking if I was okay, and grumbling about the stupid bus, or looking at me like I was crazy. My ankle felt okay at first, probably because of the adrenaline in my system, and I was also embarassed about the scene I'd just made, so I shrugged the whole thing off. I'm adept at nonchalance in the middle of a crisis- which often means people underestimate my need. I could have been run over by the bus itself, and it would be in my nature to peel myself off the asphalt, crack a silly joke, and crawl off somewhere to die when noone was looking. At any rate, I hobbled around for a bit, called Bryon to rant, and then got on the next bus. I've only just limped up the street to my door, looking like an Igor. And now, here I am writing, because I'm upset and it hurts like hell. And my throat hurts from screeching, too.


    Hm. it looks like I can still wiggle my toes, so maybe nothing was broken. but I don't think dance class is gonna happen tonight.  ergh. I'm going to go have a nap and find me some ice.