Makin' the big snarts, now!

For all of you who have requested info on an exclusive tour of my fabulous fictitious Island, or have gone so far as to actually send me some cold hard snart as a deposit, rest assured I will be making travel arrangements for you all very soon. Bwahaha.

At any rate, I spent a few days thoroughly amusing myself with the endless possibilities of snarts, with phrases like "Hey, could you lend me a couple snarts?" or "Aw yeah, bringing home the snart" or  "I just won a million snarts!" Heh heh.

 But anyway, back to reality.

I start my dance class tomorrow night, and I'm hoping I won't be totally underexperienced and outclassed.  We're supposed to dance barefoot, but I'm hoping I will be allowed to wear my lucky rainbow socks, because that's what I usually like to prance around in, you know, when I'm at home getting my groove on to something loud. Maybe I can even wear legwarmers, like in Fame. I'm also nervous about hanging out in a leotard and stuff, because even though I'm going to be in a room full of twiggy ballerina-types, I'm pretty self-concious of my chicken-arms and knobby knees. I guess I'm hoping the whole experience will help me get over that crap, and get stronger and more graceful. Ha. Graceful. Right.

This was taken about three seconds before I knocked a lamp over.

Wish me luck, hopefully I don't break anything, or offend a cranky ballerina. ergh.

Exchange rate:

1 snart = 50 cents (or, ten orange jellybeans)

This is a snart. Don't even try forging one, because  I can totally tell the difference. However, you may go right ahead forge all the jellybeans you like. On the island, you can buy a loaf of bread for about four snarts and a fistful of jellybeans.

This is an oxymephorous, hiding in some ferns. They like to do that, just before leaping out and biting your ankles.

Just so you know.

Yeah, I know. Everyone's got one of these thangs. But the oxymephorii have got to frolic somewhere!!  Is it possible for a tiny island nation to survive and flourish based on its intelligent conservation efforts, a policy towards sustainable development, and the flourishing sarcasm and wit of a certain, obnoxious, rare, stripey creature? We shall see.....

  The Most Serene Republic of Pisangue Island

"Schnerkit!"

Location: The East Pacific

The Most Serene Republic of Pisangue Island is a tiny, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its burgeoning oxymephorous population. Its hard-nosed, intelligent population of 6 million are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whoever they like in elections.
........
Crime is moderate. Pisangue Island's national animal is the oxymephorous, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the snart.

Now offering exciting adventure tours through the lush and pristine forests of our island! Come see the most marvelous and rare Oxymephorous.  Travel packages begin at the special low price of  399 snart; meals and airfare not included.

The Anarchists Upstairs

.......would be a good name for an indie rock band. Unfortunately, they are real kids who live in the apartment above mine. I mean, they're cool peeps and all, but really. There is a herd of rusty one speed hipster bikes in my backyard, an experimental drum circle every afternoon when i get home, and the sheer amount of pabst blue ribbon cans which pours fourth from their abode is absolutely staggering. Still, its better than having frat boys overhead, I suppose.

Goddamn, the floors are shaking from all the anti-syncopatic banging and drumming. I'm getting out of here, and going for a walk.

But before I leave, here is a picture I made, which has nothing to do with anything. Which is how I like it!

Raaahhh!!! 

Despite being repeatedly thwarted today, I kicked some ass. Well, actually, my ass got a major beat down while playing soccer with a pack of rabid eight year olds, but that's not the point. Yesterday my modern dance class got cancelled right out from under my eager tutu, so I went right ahead and signed up for another one somewhere in cambridge.  And that sounds like a pretty good adventure to me.

Speaking of adventure, here is a picture of me being a zebra-pirate this weekend. With a broom.  I don't know why.

Some other ....strange.....pictures from today:

looking my usual ragamuffin self

a faucet from the school

and my left ear.

Tomorrow, i will try some more photographic espionage.

Let's see if this thing works....this is my messy art room, live this very morning via my awesome wunderphone!

edit: I had to post this manually, which is not as cool, sorry. oh well.

This message was sent using Picture Messaging from Verizon Wireless! To learn how you can snap and send pictures with your wireless phone visit http://www.verizonwireless.com/getitnow/pixmessaging.

The orange was starting to bother me. But have no fear! I am at this very moment scheming and conniving something good.  bwahaha.

I was thinking about my lack of bloggage as of late, and I think it can be directly attributed to the fact that I have actually been out and about doing stuff, rawther than cooped up like a lump in front of this stupid box typing about stuff that is not happening. Don't get me wrong, I love you all, and I like to write, but it's kinda depressing sometimes. And far be it for me to be a gloomy-pants. Bleh.

I am trying to figure out how to post from my camera-phone, because I am a wicked-stealth monster. Oh yes, soon, very soon, you will be seeing very exciting LIVE! fully illustrated posts of my exciting life on the fly, such as:

• me waiting for the bus


• some trees, maybe


• a stupid pigeon


• what i had for lunch


• embarassing photos of careless hedgehogs.

But only if you're good.

But enough about you! More about me! I am having a feisty day today. This is a picture I drew of myself:

.......well, when nobody's looking, anyway.

other news, in brief, just to catch this thing up:

- my dance class got cancelled.....no tutus for me
- that was the first, and last, time I have ever used one of those freaking smiley-thangs
- I donated a painting to my kickass cousin's charity art auction
- The Hedgehog and I are thinking about moving to "The City of Destiny" 
- I miss my mum and dad. Aw.
- Audrey says hello, or rather, "oot!",  and she has every intention of writing here behind my back. As soon as she develops the ability to type.
- Comcast can still suck a dead pigeon, as far as I'm concerned.
- Oh, and hello to my crazy uncle(s). Thanks for writing to me!

Ok, I am a dumbass.

I just spent an hour angsting about what to write for my big one year xanga-versary, maybe a guest speaker, some new pictures, a flashback-montage, some crazy music....... and then I realized it's on April 23rd, and not today.

Duhhhrrr.

Well, in a month, it'll be a hella party. Cuz I have all this time to plan, now. Yeah.

By the way,  I'll add to this after I cook din-dins. Because i've been neglecting you all terribly, and i am a bad person.

#$%&!!!

However, do not allow that to fool you. I remain serene in the face of adversity.

I spent most of today hoping for  a snow day tomorrow. It  was looking a bit steely and ominous for most of the afternoon,  and now there are nasty little snowflakes flocking about everywhere, plunging to their horrid snowflake demise and adding up the crucial millimetres towards an unexpected day off tomorrow.....

EXCEPT!!! In my ignorance, I had not realized Boston Public has no school anyway, because it is "Evacuation Day".  Known to most of the world as Saint Patrick's Day,  a bountious celebration of all things green and inebriated. It is to Boston what Mardi Gras is to N'orleans. The eight or so pubs within walking distance of my house, for instance,  are going to be absolutely packed with celtic carousing.  Yet, we primly refer to it as evacuation day, not, as one might think,  in honor of the inevitable upchuck/purging which comes from drinking a large quantiity of green ale; but because of some Revolutionary War victory most likely involving muskets and cannons and redcoats fleeing the city with their trousers around their ankles.

But i still have to go to school. Because the kids might not be coming, but the teachers are expected in anyways, at 8 am.

simply put, WTF.

In other news,  I hate Comcast. With a vengeance. A part of my soul blackens with evil malice whenever I get a bill. While I have previously suffered various injustices involving my internet being unfairly and unjustifiably shut off for months, being charged technician's fees to repair their mistakes, and and their initial refusal to send any bills to my Actual Address! so I can Pay! Them!! , as well the long agony with the Customer Torment hotline (which has resulted in them being listed on my cellphone as "Comcast Bastards", speed-dial #9), I figured, eh, let bygones be bygones.

But not today!!! The thieving F-tastic assmunchers!! I hate! hate! HATE!! RAHHHRRR! COMCAST!

I wrote them a check for One Hundred Forty Seven Dollars ($147.00) , and they paid themselves Seven Hundred Forty Seven Dollars!!!!  I went to peek at my statement today, and what did I see??

Well, not this exactly, because I know you all are sneaky, and i am not stoopid. Mostly. Duhr.

items:

1. This is not my real name, nor my actual address. But you can try to send me a postcard anyways.
   
2. I often wonder, as I am paying my bill, what would happen if i wrote the check out to that fond nickname.
   
3. My bad. It's a  number one, but specifically differentiated from the seven by a carefully placed line. However!!!
   
4. Validation! Read it and weep, morons, and give me my six hundred buckaroos back!
   
5. My superbly artistic signature. Also fake.
   
6. I highly reccomend this institution. The intrest rates are really low, they make edible checks, and you get a free luxury cruise to Pisangue Island when you open an account.

And last, affirmation for those of you who think I'm not kidding.

Five Fathoms

I walk the city late at night.


Does everyone here do the same?


I want to be the things I see,


Give every face and place my name.


I cross the street, take a right,


Pick up the pace, pass a fight.


Did I grow up just to stay home?


I'm not immune - I love this tune.





I wanna love more.


I just wanna love more.





I drag the city late at night.


It's in my mouth, it's in my hair.


The people fill the city because


The city fills the people, oh yeah.


I cross the street, avoid the freeze -


A city's warmer by a couple degrees.


The smell of food. The smell of rain.


I'm not immune - I love this tune.





I wanna love more.


There's a river in my head.


I just wanna love more.


There's a river in my head.





The only way out is down.


The only way up is down.


The day roll by like thunder


Like a storm that's never breaking,


All my time and spacecompressed


In the low pressure of the proceedings,


And they beat against the sides of my life,


And the roads all lead behind me,


So I wrap the wheel around me and I go out.


There's a river in my head.


I'll take you home and make it easy.


Love more. 

-everything but the girl