Rahhhr!

Survival Tactics

I would like to note today that my yankee incredulity and general cynicism has yet again saved my life.

And caused me to freeze my ass off.

I was waiting for the bus outside of work just a little while ago, huddled in my fuzzy jacket with my scarf wrapped around my ears. I am a hardy New Englander, so something as petty as 2 degree temperatures with a bitterly fierce negative windchill is nothing to fuss about. I'm descended from tough, stoic, winter-thwarting colonial settler stock. The sort that laughs in the face of Nor'easters. At any rate,  I was bedecked in full winter gear, patiently braving the cold and waiting for the #39.

I must have looked very sexy and rosy-cheeked and windswept, I imagine. Heaving bosoms and frozen snot leaking out of my nose. Ha.

So I'm minding my own business, and this dude in this big SUV pulls up across the street. Being a New Englander, I am naturally also very unfriendly and skeptical of anyone unfamiliar who enters my proximity. You might think this is terrible and unkind, but it is also the reason I have not ended up hacked to pieces in a dumpster somewhere.

Which is what I'm getting to.

So the SUV pulls up, stops, and this sketchy dude leans out and looks at me for a long moment. I fiercely avoid eye contact, which is the first method to avoid being raped, skewered and tossed in a remote trash receptacle to bleed to death.

"Hey." he says.

I pretend to assume he is not addressing me. The cold shoulder treatment is the second method to avoid being maimed and murdered.

"You look cold. Do you want a ride?"

I shoot him the infamous Yankee Glower, which is typically used to intimidate wanton traffic, snowplows,  and hated enemies.

So he turns the car around to pull up in front of me, which is a direct affront on my 10' radius of personal space, and makes me very uncomfortable. At this point I cannot accept that he is just being a samaritan, but has a definite intention of stuffing my violated bits in a trash bag and leaving me in a frozen ditch. Because not only is he attempting to lure me, a lone, unescorted young lady, into his car, but he is going to go out of his way to do it, which is completely unreasonable even if he had innocent intentions. Not only do i have no desire to be randomly hit on or picked up, but I am not into the idea of being hacked to death, either. 

Fortunately the #39, which is typically unreliable,  showed up just in the nick of time to thwart the evil murderous villian, and I leapt aboard.

Safe and warm.

Snot

Gack. This is what the inside of my nose looks like.

Do you see the Booger Monster? do you see him?!

this is all his damn fault.

What's black and white and red all over?

This is, apparently.

ha.    ha.      ha.

I am getting bored with the schticky tabloid-esque thing. Time to change it up.

I think there should be a "Trading Spaces" for weblogs. I hosie I get the hot carpenter guy  and the stuck up manhattan interior designer with the pop art fetish and the pointy shoes.

Anybody game?

My nose %*#@! hurts. I am perpetually diseased. *sniffle*

En Route

Santa Fe > Osage St > La Cerrillos > NM rt 25 South > Albequerque > Airport > Sky > Airport (Cincinnati) > Sky > Providence > Northbound Bus > Boston  > South Station  > MBTA Red Line > MBTA Orange Line > Jamaica Plain > Green Street > Chestnut Ave > Doorstep  > My arms.

Average Joe

Ok, I went to school with this skeezy dweeb, and now he's on reality TV with creative facial hair and a powder blue suit. Eeeeyuck! She actually KISSES him!!

http://www.nbc.com/nbc/Average_Joe:_Hawaii/the_guys.shtml

Architecture

How does one cram the essentials of global structure design into four pages, for the artistic benefit of 30 crayon wielding munchkins? Here goes!

1.

2.

3.

4.

Yeah, who's the rockingest art teacher ever?!?

Zoey

We are the Ladies of Leisure. We hung out, ate pancakes, watched football, and lounged around on the couch.  Gossiped about Josh, and the yappy terrier up the street, and bemoaned our girlhood (soo difficult being lovely).  Wished someone would rub our tummies.

Woof.