January 19, 2004
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It Was A Bad Week.
So apparently last week I was vying for the championship in the Uber Fanged Harpy-Wench Competition, and came damn close to winning. Bejeesus. What the hell is wrong with me? I was a total creep. It was like I was desperately trying to piss everyone off. It got to the point where I couldn’t even open my mouth or leave the house without causing some sort of hullabaloo, or offend random people, or just be a wicked poo.
Ok, ok, I was a poo that one time on purpose, but I just wanted to have a beer and I didn’t feel like playing, okay? Grr.
I mean, I think I’m generally pretty amiable. If I lived in Oz, for instance, I am pretty sure I would stray more towards the Glenda the Good Witch end of things rather than the pointy hat and flying monkeys dealie-o. Except, I’m not as fruity as Glenda, and I’m a bit more sassy with better fashion sense, and I think those ruby red slippers are hot……..stupidass Dorothy, and her little rat dog. I’ll get you!!! Goddamn.
Ok, maybe that was not the best illustation for my point.
Really, I am a nice person. I was just having a bad week, or something. Like, maybe when I was asleep this really small jealous boogeyman crawled up my left nostril, into my brain, and told me to do bad, mean, snatchy things? Or maybe I stepped in an invisible mire of bad karma, and got nasty anti-matter hatred stuck to my shoe? Or it was my evil twin, in town from Tulsa for a couple days, who also ate all my cereal and broke some dishes and tried to turn my dog against me….?
Um.
So I’m really, really sincerely sorry. I would also like to add that in no way do I shirk any responsibility for my poor behavior, wisecracks about nostril monsters and devious siblings aside, and I truly feel horrible about it all. This week, I am going to make amends. Tomorrow after school I plan on making myself a Magic Sparkle Forgiveness Wand, fully encrusted with glitter and sequins, and trot around whapping people whom I have offended.
That ought to work.
Comments (3)
I hope your next weekend will be better. I have bad and good days too. I guess that’s life. You just need to make the best of it, and keep smiling.
I would just like to tell everyone that Heike rocks, and not just because she’s HP’s dame. Smiles for Heike!
HEY!!!!!
who the hell says you have to go around whappin people with yer glittery fruity wand?! We’re ALL entitled to a bad “the monkies ate my brain and I’m pissy” week. Sometimes things just happen and it’s no big deal if it’s just left as is. I bet you didn’t piss anyone off nearly as much as you think-so don’t beat yerself up, yer FAR toooo cute for bruises! You didn’t piss me off! An even if you did I love you anyway. Puppies.. Felix broke me so I’m here in my bathrobe…come visit this dumbass an her dog! I’ll buzz ya tomorrow!