December 15, 2003
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Today at school:
First let me explain where I work. Y’know that really obnoxious kid that’s in every classroom- you might have even been The One i’m talking about- the one kid who the teacher was always sending to the principal’s office or hauling to a corner somewhere, who was always shaving cats or bringing beer to school or setting fire to something? The kid who pees his pants and howls obscenities and won’t sit still? The bane of every elementary school classroom? Yeah, that kid. My school is populated entirely with THAT KID. Condensed terror. Fifty of ‘em. Booyah, what fun!
I walked into the Scouts classroom today to pick up a batch of young artists for a daily dose of mayhem – ergk, I mean, art class. The Scouts are the youngest troop of child-monkeys in my school, a true force to be reckoned with, and I pretty much batten down the hatches in my classroom before it’s time for super fingerpainting fun-ness with those hellions.
They’re all pretty much insane. Like, even insaner than regular seven-year-olds. Which are completely batty. Just ask one about pokemon or dinosaurs. You’ll see.
So I walk into the room, and one of the Scouts is grinning at me. This makes me nervous. Sometimes I think they are plotting evil things against me with crayons and smiley face stickers. Or spitballs. But this particular Scout started doing something really strange. Like, stranger than your average deranged child.
With his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth open in a big round “O”, the kid sits there rigidly in his seat, hands clamped by his side. Sorta like a freeze-dried guppie. Then he starts turning his head slowly around from side to side with that big “O“. First one way, slowly, then the other. And back again.
WTF?!
Then just as abruptly, he leaps back into hyper-child mode, grinning from ear to ear. He turns around in his seat and proudly declares to me:
“Guess what!!?! I’m a LIGHTHOUSE !!!“
I nearly peed my pants.
From “Sophie”, age 8:
Q: What is black and yellow, and screams when you turn it upside down??
A: A school bus!!!
bahahaha!
Comments (2)
LOL
oh my goodness that’s so fabulous!