September 18, 2003
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Tempestuous
There is a hurricane coming. The sky is strange and gronky and the air is crackly. I like storms. They feel like potential.
I have been in a strange temper lately… I got really angry last night. I don’t really know how to explain why, except I must have had something festering in the back of my mind for a while, and I was peeved that it got the better of me.
It’s kinda a long story.
It’s about this photograph I once saw, and the two people in it, and trying to figure out how to give my love and be good to one of them while the other one haunts me with petty rivalries. It’s all in my head, but how do you snarl at a ghost?
On my stormy days I don’t feel like being understanding or serene. I just want to throw rocks at something or put my sneakers back on and stalk off into the night. Maybe I am still pretending I am better than I really am. In which case, i am mostly pissed at myself. For letting all this bother me.
I wish it would rain.
